Lost
by Haberschnack
Summary: Severus Snape wasn't meant to stay alive, Potter died but who is the man in the dungeons? Something lost is back. maleXmale; M to be safe! I proofread the first two chapters, I'll try to finish the whole story in January!
1. Found

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and any character from the books... the idea is mine and I don't want to earn money with it! (But I'm not prone against any donations ^^)

Welcome to my first HP-ff in English! I'd like to apologize for my horrid English and grammar problems, but I still hope you' ll enjoy it as much as I am!  
>There'll be roughly four chapters including this one, so nothing too big. I'm at the middle now, so you wont have to wait too long for the next chapters!<p>

Have fun and leave a comment below!  
>Sincerely The Butler<p>

Ps.:I Proofread everything and hopefully I'll finish the whole fic in January! Thank you for your patience and all those comments and followers and alerts!

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><p><strong>Lost<strong>

Found

He was exhausted. After nearly 18 hours of teaching, brewing and patrolling the corridors he was tired. With a heavy sigh he sat down in his favorite chair in front of his fireplace. His back ached and his feet were numb. He was getting old.  
>Not really. He was only fifty. A wizards life was much longer than a muggles and he was still young when compared to his colleges. Minerva, Hogwarts headmistress, has turned ninety last month and was still as agile as she was at the age of sixty. But he felt old and tired. His life had always been challenging and difficult. His childhood had been hell, his Hogwartsdays were clouded with hate and sadness. He had been a servant for a dark lord, paying with his soul and the one love he onces had. The years after Voldemorts demise were filled with regret, pain, heartbreak and sorrow. And when a certain boy came to Hogwarts his pain started anew. He had her eyes. Her brilliant eyes, but nothing more. He was a carbon copy of his father. Reckless and short minded. A rulebreaker and he hated him. But he had made a promise to the boys dead mother, to help the kid, keep him safe and watch over him. He had done his duty. He had died for the brat. But he couldn't enjoy his afterlife, no, the blasted boy had somehow saved him. A simple stasis spell, used for groceries, had stopped his heart for a few minutes and had kept him alive until help had come.<p>

He wasn't happy about his second chance. He wasn't meant to stay alive and Potter...Potter died.  
>Potter had defeated the monster known as Voldemort. But he died in an explosion caused by some remaining Death Eaters after the Dark Lords demise. His body had never been found under the ruins of the entrance hall. There were too many mangled bodies, too much blood to recognise any of the 15 victims. They buried one of the corpse who could have been him. There had been enough of his blood to believe it.<p>

He sighed and kicked of his shoes to warm his toes on the blazing fire.

Harry Potter died that day doing his last duty and taking the Dark Lord with him. And Severus Snape, the Bat, Snivellus, the greasy git was still alive. It wasn't fair. But what has ever been fair in his life?

Nothing.

So he stayed alive, was proven innocent and took the potions teacher job at Hogwarts once again.

Ten years. The brat died ten years ago. And he hated him and himself aswell.

An urgent knock on his door woke him from his dark thoughts.

Irritated he put on his shoes once again and strode to his door. It wasn't a common thing to have some body knocking on his chambers door. Not that late in the night though. It might be one of his prefects with a crying firstyear or another teacher with a Slytherin out after curfew. It was past midnight, so these things could at least be possible.  
>The potions master opened his door an glanced into the dark hallway.<br>One of his sevenyears stood in front of him a pensive look on her face. The girl was a muggleborn witch but a attentive student and popular in her house. She was very understanding but still cunning and strict. If her grades had been better the last year, she would have been headgirl. But her grades were only average and she stayed a prefect. Professor Snape was very grateful for her help. She liked to stay awake at night and loved to take some of her professors nightshifts and patrolled the corridors.  
>"What is it?" he asked her, folding his arms in front of his chest. The girl was very pale, paler than usual. She had balled her hands in fist, one curling tightly around her wand.<p>

"Professor, I found a stranger in the dungeons. He is injured and has asked for you."she told him, her voice barley a whisper.

The dark eyebrows shot up and he had his wand in hand a second later, before he gestured her to lead the way.

While they hurried down the corridors, Severus mind was spinning. A stranger in Hogwarts. No one could pass the wards except the pupils and the teachers. They made new wards after the second war. Visitors needed to be escorted by a teacher to get on the school grounds. The only one who could get on the grounds had to be a very, very powerful wizard or a former student who was still keyed to the wards. A cold feeling washed over him. It couldn't be!

His student stopped in front of a dark passageway and nodded in the direction of the darkest corner.

"I placed a ward around him to stop him if he tried to escape." she told him. The professor nodded in agreement. A good idea. She was after all a really good pupil.

Snape held his wand up and lighted it with a silent spell. Pale light shone into the passageway and finally fell into the darkest corner.

A small figure came into view. Pale skin hidden under dirty and battered rags, which had been clothes one day. Long black hair fell in dirty locks over the thin face, shielded it against the light.

"Who are you?" Snape asked, but he already knew who it was.

The huddled figure shivered visibly but turned his head towards him. Dull green eyes opened under heavy lidded and swollen lids. "Harry..." the person finally croaked. Snape felt like fainting.

"Harry Potter..." the small figure croaked again. He wheezed and coughed violently. Blood and spit sprayed the dusty floor. The tall professor was next to him in a second, holding the frail figure protectively in his arms.

"Miss Spring go and get Madame Pomfrey, now!" he barked, securing his grip on the still coughing man, pushing the greasy hair out of the ghostly pale face. Black and green bruises adored the thin face. Blood and dirt was smeared over the in pain twisted young features. "Potter, look at me!" he demanded and tried to turn the face towards him.

"Professor" the man rasped. Pale and dirty hands gripped the potions masters robes in a death grip. Much to strong for the skeleton in his arms. Green eyes wild and frightened looked up at him.

"Snape!" he gasped. "Professor! Please!" he coughed again, closing his dull eyes as he tried to regain his breath. "Potter, calm down! Poppy will be here in a moment! She can help you!" said the older man in a low voice, holding the thin face in both hands, brushing tender fingers over the bruised skin to calm Potter down. But his former student wouldn't calm down. His breathing grew heavy while he tried to tell him something. "She can't...she can't help!" he rasped tugging hard on Snapes robes, still holding them in a death grip. His knuckles were white under the dirty skin. "Please!" he shouted, shivering and heaving, struggling for air. "What? Why?" Snape asked . He was worried. Potter seemed delirious. He was obviously in pain. He had been tortured, for sure. Where had he been? Who had kept him imprisoned?  
>Harry stilled for a few seconds. His eyes, which had been pressed closed, opened once again. The green orbs shone brightly as bright as they were so many years ago. "You..." he started, his voice a mere whisper but sharp as a knife.<p>

"You have to kill me! You have to! Kill me, kill me, Severus, please!" he begged.  
>Never in his live, never ever had he heard somebody pleading him to kill him like this broken man in his arms. Severus heart ached. "Why?" he breathed seeking the answer in the green orbs pleading for an answer.<p>

Harry's lips quivered and parted into a sad smile. "Because it's too late, too late...I lost..." he whispered and sunk into his Professors arms loosing consciousness.  
>"Potter!" he shook the thin frame of the broken hero but the man wouldn't wake. "What is to late? Why should I kill you?" he whispered into the dark and dirty hair, stroking the bony back of his former pupil. "Where have you been?" he mumbled but was interrupted in his musings when Madam Pomfrey and Prefect Spring came hurrying down the dark corridor. "By the love of Merlin! Is that Harry?" the older women cried and sank down on her knees next to the potions master. Her wand was out in an instance and she started to treat him immediately. Sweat adored her pale face when she stopped and turned to the professor who still had a save grip on the broken man. "He is stable for the moment. We should hurry up to the infirmary." she said and got to her feet. "Miss Spring go ahead and call St. Mungos we'll need some help with him." The girl nodded and hurried away closely followed by her head of house and Madame Pomfrey.<p>

Harry Potter had been in the infirmary of Hogwarts for five days now. He hadn't regained consciousness yet but Madame Pomfrey and the Healer from St. Mungos were confident that he would wake in the next two days. He had been gravely injured and everyone had feared he wouldn't push through it. But Potter wouldn't be a Potter if he hadn't stayed alive. His injuries were mostly healed but they didn't know about his mental health. Snape wasn't sure if he wanted to know. After ten years of torture who would still be sane? And Potter had begged him to kill him, he couldn't be that sane after all. But the others hoped dearly. Especially Ron and Hermione Weasley, Potters best friends. Poppy had told them that they had Potter and they came in an instance and hadn't left their friends sickbed yet. Both were utterly happy but also very troubled to see their friend again in his current state. It had been ten long years since they saw him the last time and no body could be sure if he still remembered them. Snape hadn't told them about their small talk in that passageway yet. He wasn't sure if he should ever tell anybody. He wouldn't admit, even to himself, how much those few sentences had troubled him since then. He was somewhat afraid to see those green eyes again pleading him to kill him. No, it hurt to much to think about it. Lily's son pleading to die, to be killed by the man who had so gravely failed both of them. His guilt was back, stronger than ever. But he stayed close to the fallen hero and waited patiently for him to wake and tell him that he would live like Severus had promised his Lily. He would look after him, he would help him overcome his past, he would stay with him for ever. The boy wouldn't get lost again.

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><p>Thanks for reading<p> 


	2. Healed

Hey, here is part two!

Thank you for those wonderful comments and story-alerts and favorites! Maybe I made some progress with my English! YAY  
>Okay, disclaimer is the same, I don't own HP or any character out of the books, prefect Spring is mine though, don't mind her.<p>

Have fun,  
>sincerely The Butler<p>

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><p><strong>Lost<strong>

Healed

Harry Potter had been in the infirmary of Hogwarts for five days now. He hadn't regained consciousness yet but Madame Pomfrey and the Healer from St. Mungos were confident that he would wake in the next two days. He had been gravely injured and everyone had feared he wouldn't push through it. But Potter wouldn't been a Potter if he hadn't stayed alive. His injuries were mostly healed but they didn't know about his mental health. Snape wasn't sure if he wanted to know. After ten years of torture who would still be sane? And Potter had begged him to kill him, he couldn't be that sane after all. But the others hoped dearly. Especially Ron and Hermione Weasley, Potters best friends. Poppy had told them that they had Potter and they came in an instance and hadn't left their friends sickbed yet. Both were utterly happy but also very troubled to see their friend again in his current state. It had been ten long years since they saw him the last time and no body could be sure if he still remembered them.

Snape hadn't told them about their small talk in that passageway yet. He wasn't sure if he should ever tell anybody. He wouldn't admit, even to himself, how much those few sentences had troubled him since then. He was somewhat afraid to see those green eyes again pleading him to kill him.  
>No, it hurt to much to think about it. Lily's son pleading to die, to be killed by the man who had so gravely failed both of them.<br>His guilt was back, stronger than ever. But he stayed close to the fallen hero and waited patiently for him to wake and tell him that he would live like Severus had promised his Lily. He would look after him, he would help him overcome his past, he would stay with him for ever. The boy wouldn't get lost again.

Potter opened his eyes two days later. He was aware of his surroundings and the people, but he was to weak to speak or move. It took him three more days to produce a small sound. After a week it was the potions master who was the first he spoke to.

It was late at night. Everyone was asleep. Potters friends went home for that night, leaving their friend in Poppy's and Severus' care. The man had the first shift to watch over the younger one and settled himself with a good book next to the bed. He was well absorbed in his reading when he heard a small noise. It sounded like a sob and he looked at his charge clearly alarmed.  
>Harry Potter lay in his bed, motionless like before, but his face was twisted into a tortured complexion. It wasn't the first time for Potter to have nightmares but it was the first time he made any sounds. They were barley audible but after a while he could make out some words. "No" and "don't hurt her, please!" were some of the cries. Worried he put his book on a bedsidetable and stood to have better access to the injured man.<br>Potters' face was covered with sweat and tears leaked out of the corners of his closed eyes. Some more words tumbled over his thin and chapped lips. "Don't hurt them! James, Lily, nooo...please, I'll do anything! Not my children!" he cried and his eyes shot open. Severus starred down at him, still mulling over the last words that were spoken. What did that mean? His children? Could it be, had he been a father...no that couldn't be real! He felt very cold suddenly.  
>"Professor?" a broken voice forced his attention back to his patient. "Yes, Mr. Potter?" he asked and bent down a bit. He knew that Harry Potter was nearly blind without his glasses and the pale moonlight didn't help much.<br>"Professor Snape...where are...where are my children?" Harry rasped, shifting under his covers to free a bandaged arm to reach for the older man. Snapes eyes went wide. What?

"Severus, where are Lily and James? Where are my kids?" Harry pleaded and grabbed the man by the front of his dark robes. Tears shone in the green eyes which were dulled with grieve and sorrow.  
>The potion master shook his head and patted the now clean hair of his former pupil. "Harry, you are at Hogwarts. You came alone. There were no children." he tried to calm the distraught man. Harry blinked a few times, his eyes searching his surroundings. Finally he seemed to understand and relaxed a bit.<br>But his face looked very sad and he cried harder. Severus nearly forgotten heart throbbed with pain to see the once strong teen so utterly broken.  
>"I know...I know...my kids are dead..." he breathed closing his eyes. Severus took the small hand, which was still grabbing his clothes, in his own and rubbed soothing cycles over its back. He wanted to embrace him but stopped before he lost his stoic and cold manner.<br>"You had children? Who was their mother?" he asked after Harry's breathing got a bit calmer. The green eyes opened once more. Harry nodded and fixed his gaze on his old professors, which made the mans insides heat up with an long forgotten feeling. He felt deep compassion for his former pupil but there was more behind that.  
>"Yes, Lily and James." he said and swallowed thickly. Severus grabbed a glass and filled it with water before he helped Harry to drink it. The younger man couldn't even hold a glass on his own. He was still too weak. After the other had enough Severus put the glass away and continued to pat the unruly black hair. They had to cut it of. It had been too damaged to clean it, eventhough it had been looked after very well a few months or so ago.<br>All in all the younger male hadn't been tortured all along those ten years. The medical scans had told them as much. There had been years were Harry must have been treated very well by his abductors. The most torture had been inflicted in the first two years and in the last six months. In the meantime he had enough to eat and only some minor injuries like a broken arm or a few bruises, no whipping or crucio.  
>Harry had closed his eyes once again but was still awake and leaned his head into the soft touch on his hair. "I don't know who their mother was...and I'm not their father by blood, but I loved them as my own." he explained with a small smile on his dry lips. Severus tried to stay calm. He had so many questions but he knew that Harry was much to weak and hurt to answer all of them. Not tonight and not in the next few weeks. He needed to heal, physically at least, that was their major goal for now. "What happened?" he asked with hesitation.<br>Harry sighed and gripped Severus hand to hold onto something. He was trembling and new tears streamed over his pale cheeks. "They were killed because of me." he said, the grieve in his broken voice was so prominent that Severus had to stop himself before he cried along the younger man. "You should rest some more. It's only midnight." he said and wiped the tears away with a handkerchief. Harry nodded and closed his eyes. He was fast asleep a few minutes later.  
>Severus sat back on his stool but kept looking at the younger male in the bed. The man who he once thought he would have known. The boy he had once hated, but cared for none the less.<p>

"Harry!" Ron Weasley burst shouting into the infirmary. His wife trailed close behind him with two kids in her arms. The black haired man looked up from his book. He had been here for two weeks now and was getting better every day. He had gathered a bit of weight and his voice was back but he wasn't allowed to talk too much for his vocal cords were badly damaged.  
>He gave a hesitant smile and put the book on his bedsidetable. "Ron, not so loud." warned his wife and Harry gave her a thankful look. They knew that he didn't like any loud noises. Some times he was pushed into a panicattack and loud noises or shouting people didn't help to calm him down. The potions Professor had been often the one who had calmed him down in the end. Hugging him lightly and rocking the frail body back and forth until the cries died down. After those panicattacks Harry used to give him a shy and tired smile before he would sleep once again. And Severus would hold him for some more minutes, happy about the warm feeling deep inside of him.<br>Snape, who was once again sitting on his bedside, frowned but stayed silent. He trusted Mrs. Weasley, nee Granger, to keep her husband in check. "Hello Professor." Hermione greeted him and placed her youngest child in her husbands arms before she went over to her friend who looked a bit nervous.  
>"Hi Harry. We'd like to introduce you tor your godchild." she smiled and showed him her two year old daughter, who eyed the pale man with huge blue eyes. Harrys hands shook a bit when he patted the girls red hair. A crooked smiled turned his lips upwards and his green eyes sparkled with life. "Rose, this is your godfather Harry, say Hello" her mother encouraged her daughter who gave the man an uncertain smile. "Hi." she whispered. Harrys smile widened. "Hi Rose, nice to meet you too." he said as clear as he could. His voice wasn't strong and used to crack or vanish for hours.<br>She mirrored his smile and giggled a bit when he tickled her side. "And here is our Hugo, Mate!" grinned Ron like the very proud father he was and showed his son. The sixmonth old baby gurgled happily and Harry smiled at his friend. "Thank you." he rasped and reached for his glass to drink a bit water. The weasleys settled down and talked in quite voices to his injuired friend. Harry at first very shy, came out of his shell when they started to tell them about the times he had missed. He laughed with them but mostly looked at them with big eyes, his thin hand holding that of his goodchild.

When he started to cough Snape eyed him closely. Potter was more than tired. His former student gave him quick nod and Snape stood. "I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Weasley but Mr. Potter isn't allowed to talk much more today." he explained in his lecture voice. Both Weasleys made sad faces but tried to look less bothered. They knew that their friend was still very weak but they had hoped to finally have a longer conversation. Harry hadn't told any of them were he had been the last ten years and by whom he had been held prisoner and what had happened in that time. Poppy had said it would be too much stress for the still recovering man and they accepted it.

Snape sat down and let them end their short visit. It wasn't only Harrys voice that needed more rest today. The man hadn't slept very good the last few nights. He woke at random hours screaming and begging to be killed. Snape was the only one who had witnessed these episodes and had only told Poppy about some nightmares, but not about Harrys pleading to be killed. And even Harry seemed not to know what happened those nights. Severus had asked him about it but Harry seemed shocked and didn't know what to say, only that he wanted to live. Severus was a bit suspicious. The Harry who woke up at night behaved not like the Harry who he talked to at daytime. Maybe it was just because of the nightmares that the younger male behaved so different, which made the potions master stay on high alert. Afterall it wouldn't surprise him if Harry had developed a second persona while in captivity.

"Severus." Snape shifted on his stool but slept on.  
>"Severus, please!" The man stirred and cracked one eye open. He was wide awake when he saw the thin figure standing before him. His heart sped up a beat.<br>"Mr. Potter! What are you doing out of bed?" he scolded and stood the very moment. The younger man gave him a sad smile and shook his head. "Severus please, listen!" he croaked. He was standing on shaking legs and had his arms flung around his thin torso. Severus shook his head and took one of the extra blankets to throw it over the thin shoulders.  
>"Go back to bed." he said and rested both hands on the blanket clad shoulders. Harry shook his head once again. "No. You have to listen!" he demanded. Severus rolled his dark eyes and sighed. "Okay, I'll listen when you go back to bed!" he huffed steering the other back to the bed. He helped him onto the mattress and covered him with some more blankets. Tucking him in like a small child. Those big green eyes made him go soft but the young man was freezing cold.<br>Pale and scarred hands stopped him and he looked up onto the green fathomless eyes which were clearly different than the eyes who looked at him at daytime. His breath hitched  
>"Severus, you have to kill me!" the young man spoke, his voice was clear as water, not raspy or chopped as normal. The shocked potion master shook his head. "No, Harry! Why should I kill you? You are home, safe, no one will hurt you!...I...won't let them hurt you ever again!" he shouted his heart beating hard behind his ribs.<br>But Harry shook his head. "No! You will kill me! I have to die! I must DIE!" he screamed.  
>"Why?" "Because it's too late...it's too late..." Harry whispered, his eyes fefeated, broken beyoned repair.<br>Severus breath hitched once again when he gazed into the broken eyes of his once lost pupil. "Please!" was the last thing Harry said before he lost consciousness. Severus sat down on his stool. His mind whirled in crazy cycles and his hands were shaking. He wasn't able to understand the other man. Why would he want to die after all. Everything was okay now and Severus would let no harm come to him. Why? Were these episodes the more lucid ones of Harry Potter, or was he down right crazy? He didn't know...and that frustrated him more than anything. How could he help him? Was he able to make it all better?  
>His heart jumped when he looked back at the fallen man. He would make it better, he wont lose one he cared about again!<p>

After that night Harry slept for three days. When he woke once again he was much stronger and happier than before. He started to leave his bed and could stay awake more then a few hours. Eventhough his voice was as bad as before he talked more and Poppy allowed it.  
>His vocal cords were still damaged but had healed as much as possible.<br>A week later Severus stepped into the infirmary like every day since Potter came back. It had been a long day. The dunderheads were most unpleasant after three weeks of winter holidays. Christmas and too many sweets made them unruly and downright nerve-racking. He hated it. Why had he become a teacher after all and hold this position even after the war?  
>He sighed and rubbed his tired face. He was fed up with all that noise and laughter!<p>

Wait a moment, laughter?

He stopped mid step and looked ahead. On the bed which was normally occupied by the black hair man sat a blonde girl, giggling happily while Harrys damaged voice rasped a story.  
>"Miss Spring!" Severus Snape bellowed. The girl was clearly startled and turned around. "Good evening Professor Snape." was her soft replay. Her pale cheeks were flushed and she hid another giggle behind a hand. Harry stepped closer and snaked an arm around the slim waist. Snapes eyebrows shot high up to his black hairline. "Mr. Potter shouldn't you be in bed?" he growled. Harry gave him a cheeky grin and turned towards his quest. "Sorry love, but I think we should listen to the grumpy old bat." he whispered in her ear. Miss Springs cheek glowed bright red when she hopped of the bed and hurried out of the infirmary waving good bye to Harry. Snape who had heard what Potter said growled dangerously. Potter had become a pain in the ass. He was meek, cheeky, defiant and downright annoying. He was joking around and flirting with every women, old or young. Snapes patience was already worn thin. And the hot feeling that tortured his insides left his nerves raw and nervous.<br>"One more word and I will..." "What? Give me detention?" Potter laughed outright and shook his head. "Potter!" Snape shouted and drew his wand. Enough was enough. But before he could utter a spell two thin arms wrapped around his middle. Green tear filled eyes gazed up at him. Every spell or thought stopped and his face grew hot. "Please Severus, I'm sorry." the younger one pleaded. Snape lowered his wand and watched the other man very closely. He had troubles breathing while gazing in those green eyes. Harry had started to tremble and hugged him closer. Bringing their bodys flush against each other.  
>"I'm sorry Severus, but it's been so long since I had some fun. The last years were hell and I couldn't laugh or talk with anybody. I was lonely...I was … I missed...I missed you..." Severus heart stopped. His eyes found green ones. He wasn't sure what he saw in them but the gaze was so intense. So pure but powerful. He let himself fall. His arms embraced the thin body and one hand found the black hair which fell slightly over the narrow shoulders now. "Harry...I" was the only thing what escaped his mouth before thin lips settled on his.<br>Harrys lips were warm and soft. Severus breath hitched and his hold tightened on the younger man. The kiss was innocent but lasted for a while. His lips prickled and Harrys breath was labored when they parted to get some air. "Severus...please don't leave me." were the last words he heard before their lips met once more.

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><p>Yay, some action! See you next chapter!<br>And be so kind to leave a comment below!


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